Self-Awareness & Mastering Stress- strategic steps to manage everyday obstacles

Good afternoon everyone ❤

So I know in my intro blog I told you guys my next move was editing and publishing The Awakening part 1 and 2 series, but I've been doing alot of research about the Self awareness theory and the psychology behind it. Obtaining self awareness is a step I'm taking to help me grasp my self worth. I've also been experiencing a lot of stress, and I believe the two can be correlated. I had a lot of ideas today and thought why not share this. So I'm going to explain my theory on how being self aware can help me dig deep into what is causing me stress and why do I allow it to effect me enough to prevent genuine happiness.

*** Here is a link to a website that I've encountered that I believe really hits every aspect: https://psychology.iresearchnet.com/social-psychology/self/self-awareness/

I'm still planning to release my next blog within the next two weeks. But after reading articles on the journey to self discovery, I felt like they gave me key insight and even motivation to take back my life, and it gave me the urge to put together this blog that would hopefully give anyone out there a guide to start somewhere.

I really want to reiterate the importance that I believe it is to pick apart every aspect of your brain; because I've been focusing on improving my mental health, I can honestly say I've haven't felt this awake in such a long time. I didn't realize how far gone I was until I've been able to let go of this negative energy that had been controlling me.

Also, I want to make it clear that I dont have my whole life figured out either, I don't want to give the impression to you guys that I'm extremely satisfied with my life, because I'm not. I'm still borderline depressed, I have anxiety all the time, a part of me feels alone and empty, and I'm not sure which direction I'm moving in. But its the fact that I'm moving somewhere. I've been so focused on changing myself to make other people happy for the longest time, but since my awakening moment that I've had, I'm discovering my self for the first time and it's exciting as hell. I want all of whoever feels like they're stuck, lost, unhappy, unhealthy, anxious or depressed to read my journey and be able to obtain anything positive out of it. **Dont forget you guys can email me directly on my website and give me feedback if any of this has impacted you or how you can relate (:

So back to it, self awareness.

STEPS TO BECOMING SELF AWARE- there are 3 vital questions.

1. What the hell are you doing?

2. What the hell are you feeling?

3. What are your blind spots?

Too many people go through the same motions day in and day out. We forget how to exist. We aren't utilizing our power. We distract ourselves with anything and everything, we tuck things away and try to forget about them, we don't listen to ourselves. And then when life hits us with a traumatic event, we fall off the deep end because we don't know how to identify our emotions and manage stress.

I used to struggle with self harm. I started as early as 7th grade. I didnt want to end my life, I wanted someone to talk to me, and tell me it was going to be okay. Having a parent ripped from your hands and not ever being guided on what to do next pushed me to do what my peers were doing. Self harm didn't take away my pain, it didn't do anything good for me except create a distraction and leave me with scars on my skin to see every single day. When my bestfriend died, I turned to alcohol. I was 19 at the time, I was old enough to know that alcohol is a suppressant, and that it wouldn't help me. It just gave me temporary numbness from having to come to terms with a death.

Assessing your emotions in depth can be very difficult for some people. I've found it helpful that when something affects me to the point where my mood changes by it, I write the situation down and how I feel in that moment. I then revisit what I wrote and try to figure out why. This allows me either fix how I think, or change my actions when a similar situation occurs.

STEPS TO ASSESS EMOTIONAL AWARENESS-

• Address the frequency

• Separate feelings from thoughts

• How do you want to respond to what you're feeling?

• Understand the why

Identifying your weaknesses is something I've been personally identifying in order to obtain a clearer understanding of my self.

Identifying your strengths is just as important as knowing what makes you weak. I think it's more important to focus on positive rather than the negative. Your greatest potential for growth lies in the areas of Your greatest strengths.

A psych blog that I read stated that when we fail to recognize emotions, its because of blind spots that we have. It's a form of denial. Identify and come to terms with what you don't want to. In other words, face your demons.

Self awareness is also self acceptance. Accept your flaws and that you are not perfect, instead of dwelling on your imperfections. Remember, positives not negatives. Trying to accept instead of eliminate my imperfections has been such a struggle for me (I've been pitching ideas on a blog based on this struggle).

Something I think is a huge issue in society is that we are so fricken concerned about anything and everything EITHER than ourselves. We spend more energy analyzing other people and what we don't agree with, than actually utilizing that energy to work on and improve ourselves. We allow other people to influence our moods, emotions and actions and it's crazy to me that we do that. Why should the lady in the store who wore her pajamas and has two different shoes on be even the least amount of what I'm worried about.

We have the ability to control what influences us.

Too many times I've allowed the dumbest, most irrelevant shit to effect my mood. How people drive is one of them. I have the WORST road rage. It makes me so mad and it really takes away the good car ride I was enjoying with the volume on max and singing at the top of my lungs.

Something else that I think people tend to make an excuse for their negative energy is STRESS.

Let me tell you.... one thing that I'm experiencing a lot of lately, is stress! It's inevitable, it's everywhere, and it's something that is a huge influence to how I start/end my day, how I act towards other people, and overall energy that I carry. Reading about self awareness and how it's correlated with how we control ourselves, made me realize I haven't been playing the cards that I've been dealt right. I personally either tuck stress away and try not to think about it, or I find something else that gives me a brief relief from it until it becomes irrelevant.

Identify your stressors

Overall, life in general plays a role in why I'm stressed. It's just not going the way I want it to. I'm going to be 24 tomorrow, and I'm not sure how I pictured my life to be, but it isn't the one I'm living. I stated in my intro blog that I just got fired from my job as a medical assistant at the beginning of August. I've never lost a job before. I'm working as a waitress part time but our season ends in 2 weeks. So far I've applied to over 100 jobs, all of my interviews, I've felt, have went really well, but clearly I was wrong being that I didn't get hired. I'm a single mom who has never gotten child support, and it scares me that I haven't gotten a job yet. I filed for child support 2 months ago, however what I didn't know was that parental rights are going to be established on the day that I go to court. Due to specific factors, and because I have always been both mom and dad, it's in my sons best interest to continue with just me serving as both roles. I've interviewed a few lawyers and can't make a decision. My son currently has an ear infection and has been up every 20 minutes the last 3 nights, so sleep isn't an option for me. Since I'm waitressing an hour a way from where I live, I've been frequently staying at my parents house, at times it has been challenging. When I want to be alone, I have my mom jumping down my throat about something. Or at times I want silence, she repeats something she has already said to remind me of whatever it is, and I get so annoyed by it. I also feel like I'm overstepped as a parent, often, by my parents. And it's hard when I try to tell them how I feel, because I don't feel as if they take me seriously, they will look at each other and roll their eyes at something I say. There are times I also feel like I'm looked down upon. I also have a roof leak at home and somehow have to get it fixed with whatever extra money I have since I'm unable to afford a new one (which was going to get done this fall until I lost my job).

These are very superficial examples of what I'm currently stressed about, and I realized how silly some are since I wrote them out. I can eliminate the majority of that list by simply redirecting the energy in my emotions. The financial stress is something I easily tuck away and avoid. So what I've been doing is not checking my bank account as often as I should, I don't even want to look at it because I don't want to be stressed out more. I need to learn that I may not be able to eliminate the stress I have from it (unless anyone is willing to donate me a check), but I can decrease it. This weekend I have an idea to come up with a visual plan on how I spend my money, maybe meeting with a financial advisor would be a good idea. I also need to accept that it is what it is, keep applying to jobs, and just do my best.

When you have identified what is causing you stress, I've learned that a delayed reaction is best. Mastering stress will not be accomplished in a day. Write it down, take a day or two to think about it, and then set aside time for yourself to self evaluate and come up with a game plan on what you're gonna do to decrease or eliminate it. And after that, follow through plan and start being happier. Below is a list I've put together for myself that I feel would be vital to help me take control of my life.

STEPS TO MASTER STRESS

• Do not take on more than you can handle. Know your limits.

• Avoid the negative outside energy. You are in control of who and what influences you.

• Accept the things you cannot change, have the courage to change the things you can, and know the difference

• Adjust your expectations accordingly, you can't be let down if you expect nothing.

• Map out a plan and stick with it. Our brain is wired to become more focused and motivated when there is a visual component.

• Do not focus on how to manage stress, you are learning to master it. managing gives us the idea of long term. Mastering gives us the idea of conquering.

• Stress is inevitable, but you can automatically eliminate 90% of it by what you allow and being mindful in your surroundings.

• Identify the positives. Even if you can only come up with one.

• Remember that these guidelines will only reach maximum potential if you also incorporate the steps to self awareness. Increasing your mindfulness to who you are, and how you react. gives you more control on decreasing the likelihood of irrelevant stress, and grants you power to live your life exactly how you want, without the influence of foreign energies.

So there you have it guys. I had been up way past my bedtime, deep in my thoughts, and this is the product of it. Take what you want from it, agree or disagree, that is all up to you.

By the way my last blog had over 200 views in less than 24 hours and I want to thank everyone who took the time to read it and give me some feedback!

**you can also click the link on my site to subscribe to my page and get updates of when I release the awakening series, since I know you all are dying to read a novel on my ever so exciting life**